seanwillson.com

well it has been a while since i have written. a lot of stuff has happened in my life since i last wrote. lets see … where do i begin. last time i wrote i had received a call from one of my old bosses. anyhow, he invited me to come check out the company he was with now, which happened to be a spin off of the group i used to work in. the meeting went well, i was impressed with everything they were doing, and they were interested in me. so they made me an offer to join their company. it was a really nice offer … i took a weekend to think about it. i started by making a list of the reasons i should stay at iexplore and the reasons i should leave. i then wrote a list of the reasons to go to this new company and the reasons not to. i quickly had a list that was leaning strongly toward leaving. so after doing that and some soul searching that weekend i decided that this was what was right for me right now. that monday evening i went to get the official offer and accepted it while i was there. it made sense and was what was best for me down the road. since leaving that team i have been unable to find a company or a development staff that matches the talent, the feeling of family, and the outgoing atmosphere that was there. i missed all of those things … thus my decision. this new company is a part of the divine interventures family of companies, but i think that is all i can say for now.


other then that career change i made some great progress in my fitness program. when i went home for easter weekend i weighed myself again, i have lost 18 pounds in 4 more weeks. not to shabby … i am averaging 4 pound per week. at this rate i am right on track for my goals … i love it when a plan comes together. i have been doing my cardio in the morning on sunday, tuesday, and thursday. i have been doing my weight training on monday, wednesday, and friday. this schedule allows me the most flexibility in terms of sleep and work. i can stay late when needed and still get my exercises in when i get home. i can get the cardio out of the way in the morning freeing those evenings up for anything i need to do. so it makes sense, and the best part is i am seeing great progress on it.


lets see what else … i went home this weekend. i kind of used this as a free weekend instead of a free day. with saturday being my free day and sunday being easter i should have just made sunday my freeday but i wanted to go out to the bar with friends on friday and saturday night without guilt. so i used it to celebrate my progress and just have a good time with friends. i went out to the bar with mikey on friday night, we went to see his fiancé at work. she works at a cool bar/restaurant called the wave. then the next day i hung out with family, went and looked at bikes, and then went to dinner and the bar again that evening. i got pretty toasted that evening, which was fine since christina drove. there were a few interesting woman that i saw at the bar, and had i been at my goal weight there is no doubt in my mind i would have been hitting on them. but now is to soon … so i just drank. we all had a great time that evening, the dinner was great, and it was really cool just hanging out with everyone like we used to. on sunday we went to everyone’s house for easter. i ate so much that day i thought i was going to burst, but the food was soooooo good. we started at christinas aunts house, went to my mom’s house, then christinas grandparents, and ended the evening at her fathers house. every house, except my mom’s, had food or desert to eat. it was the definition of a free day that’s for sure.


while i was at christina’s fathers house we started talking about the body for life program that i am on. after i spent some time talking with christina’s step mom about what the program entailed we popped in the success stories video. both her, christina, my brother, and christina’s father were interested in learning more about it. christina’s step mom is going to pick up the book and read more about it, she seemed really interested. after we left there we went back to ellis’s and chistina’s place and i showed her some before and after pictures of some people online. she was pretty blown away, i always am … these people have made some amazing transformations of their bodies and minds. anyhow, after talking for a while she is going to give her atkins a try for a few more weeks. during that time she is going to read the book and then she may give body for life a try. i really really think it would be the best for her, and for them as a couple. i know it would be hard for them in the beginning because it would be such a drastic change in their lifestyle. but in the long run i know it would make them so much closer as a couple, more healthy as a couple, and their lives would be better for it. but this is as far as i can take it. presenting it to them, not preaching it, and letting them make up their own minds. the only other thing i can do is lead by example and continue the progress i have made.


a few weeks ago i started looking at buying a new mountain bike. i started at my local shop looking at some bikes by trek, schwinn, klein, and cannondale. after some research and some talking to the adventure experts at work i narrowed it down to schwinn and klein. then when i went home this past weekend i went looking for bikes with my brother. well that kind of sparked something in him as well and got him interested in getting bikes for him and christina. he beat me to the punch and both him and christina bought bikes yesterday. they bought them for each other as their wedding gifts. christina got a really nice schwinn and my brother got a cool specialized mountain bike. right now they are doing mostly tooteling around their condo complex, but when i get my bike i am going to take my brother offroad and kick him into gear. i should have mine this coming weekend if all goes well.


i made a new online friend over the past few weeks, her name is amy. we met online after replying to a classified ad. i forget who replied to who’s ad, but that is no matter. we have been chatting back and forth a lot. she is pretty cool … lives in the chicago area, and has a great personality. she actually has a boy friend right now so the reply to the personal is not exactly what it may appear … heheh … but we talk about a lot of stuff. i like making new friends and will take all that i can get. i have been chatting with a few other people online as well … but i have to say, they are pretty clueless. they have no idea what they are doing with their life, what their dreams are, and they just don’t get anything. i try asking them a few simple personal questions that i think anyone with a brain could answer and they sit there dumbfounded and have no idea … i never realized how many people out there take life for granted and set no goals, have no aspirations, and have no dreams. they just go from day to day clueless … not much of a pool to choose from but i am sure someone is out there for me. it’s just a matter of finding her.


well i think that is everything that has happened the past few weeks. till next time …

i had a great weekend. pretty much was as lazy as possible. i saw 2 movies at the theater and rented 4 on pay per view cable. so pretty much i was a couch potato this weekend. but hey, why not, i owe it to myself every so often to just cut loose and do nothing. i still worked out on sunday though. i also actually got my oil, transmission fluid, and other crap done to my car.


i updated my fitness timeline with my latest information. i did not weight myself, but i did measure myself. shrinking as we speek … heheh … i added something new to my supplement program. it is called cytovol and is used to volumize muscle cells, support new muscle growth, and preserve glutamine levels. it tastes pretty good and i mix it with my betagen at night before i go to bed. i know someone online that was using it and had surprising 12 week results for her transformation.


i replied to a few personal ads online. i received a few replies and have been talking to them via email. i actually posted my own personal ad online as well but unfortunately have received no replies. guess i don’t come out very well on paper. here is what i posted …


“i am someone who is changing their life daily. i take care of my body and my mind. i am overweight, but i am losing it daily. i know a lot of people are after that perfect body. if you take the time to get to know me you will see a fun, adventurous, outgoing, honest, funny, friendly, family oriented, romantic, honest, strong individual who is working toward improving his life. by the time you stick around to get to know all those qualities you will see the new me as i transform my body through exercise. i have defined goals and a new purpose in life. if your looking for someone who is more then skin deep look no further. if not … it’s your loss. have a great day.”


i was open and honest … maybe i scared them. who knows …


something interesting happened to me last friday. i received a call from my old boss from wdr … while i was at work. he asked how i was doing and wanted to see if i was interested in coming to check out his new company. this is the same company that i was looking at joining last year but they had not started it up yet. it took a bit longer to start the company then they originally thought. anyhow, they are having an open house tomorrow evening that i am going to attend. i will find out more about what they will be doing then … and who knows, if they offer, and it’s a good fit, then anything is possible. i like all the people working there, and i respect every single one of them. i have yet to work with as talented a bunch of people as them. working with them again would be great … we were all good friends. sometimes i wonder why i really left wdr a year ago … still don’t quite think i made the right decision. but hindsight is 20/20 … all i can do is move forward. we’ll see how it goes.


i have been getting a ton done at work. i am actually getting into coding again. doing perl stuff was bringing back memories of mypoints but now i am actually putting some architecture and programming skills to use. i love it when i am in the coding zone … and i just start kicking out some code. time goes fast and i make a ton of progress. it gives you that feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day. and then when it all comes together and you test the code and it works … you get a rush. it’s great …


that’s about it for this entry … more to come later in the week.

this week has been a great week. my exercise program is going great. at first i thought i may have hit a plateau because my losses were not as big as before. i know i was going to hit one eventually. i also know that the last few weeks i had been having trouble getting up at 5 am … so this week i started something new. i am doing my cardio in the morning at 7 am like usual, but on weight training days i am doing this in the evening after i get home from work. it is easier on the sleep, letting me get more of it, and few people say exactly that weight training has to be done in the morning. cardio yes … but not weight training. even though i had great success doing it in the morning i am going to give this a shot for 4 weeks and see how it goes. one good sign was that this week i had a repeat of an occurrence that happened to me about 7 weeks ago. i did cardio in the morning and then took my phen-free and also took some after lunch. well, i was sweating all day … my metabolism was working damn hard all day. i could swear i burnt a few pounds just sitting around. gotta love it when you can feel it.


one thing i wanted to write about in my journal, that i feel i have neglected in the past, is my dreams. i have written about one dream but i have not written about the number of dreams i have been having. before, when i was sedentary sean i never really dreamed much let alone remember what the dream was about. but since i have been working out these past 4 months my dreams have increase tremendously. i now have a few per night and they are usually really vivid dreams that i remember for a while afterwards. even when i fall asleep for a few minutes i often have a dream. it is really amazing … i have read about how exercise helps with sleep problems and allows you to get a better rested sleep but this is amazing. before when i slept i would be thinking about something and it would be jumping in my mind all night and i would get a restless sleep. now my mind is clear and the dreams are vivid and vibrant. it is like a whole new sleeping style … i love it.


i am finally getting to work on some more interested projects at work. there was a lull there … getting into the groove and this one project that went from a few days work to a few weeks work. i hate it when that happens. anyhow, on to bigger, better, and more challenging things.


i am going to spend some time this weekend working on my learnfitness.com website. it is kind of changing in my mind how i am going to do it … but i think i have a better idea now. i realize that i cannot finish it all in one release, i will have to add functionality as i go. my problem is that i am to much of a perfectionist. it’s not that i can’t be a perfectionist in this regard, just not all at once. a perfectionist in stages .. hehehe …


well seems that a few of the people who’s ads that i responded to from the online classifieds replied back. i am only really talking to one of them though, since the others have not replied to my second message. maybe i am scaring them away … hehe … who knows. just being myself from the get go … no toying around. no, i am not being mean … funny … evil journal evil. i am just being open and honest, that’s all i can do and all i would ask of them. we shall see if honesty is truly all it’s cracked up to be.


i will write later this weekend or monday about my progress for these past few weeks. i think i have made great progress. i won’t do a weigh in though for another 2 weeks. i am only doing that every 4 weeks, i don’t want that to be the focus of my fitness.


well that’s about it this time i think …. write again soon.

while i was surfing around today i found an article by bryan cooley that struck a cord with me. everything he says in this article is so true that it hit home with me as well. so many people that i encounter throughout the day think that i am on a diet, or that i am going through a “phase” in my life. little do they realize that i have made a change, a life change. i have chosen to take care of my body for life, not to just do a fad diet or exercise program. this is something that will be life long for me, it is the new me.


so everyone that is overweight has to be on a fad diet right? forget the fad part, why must i be on a diet? what is the first thing you think of when you think of the word “diet”? i am guessing low fat, low calorie, only eating a few times a day. eating meals that are bland and taste like crap. am i right? if you are thinking of a new fad diet you might be thinking of bacon, butter, steak, pork rinds, and eggs. so is that what i am eating? the simple answer is no. i eat 6 meals a day, i eat a balance of carbohydrates and protein with portions of vegetables. i eat chicken, lean meat, potatoes, wheat bread, broccoli, cottage cheese, basically food that is healthy. there’s a new word, “healthy”. no, not pre-processed, pre-packaged, industrialized food that comes from a manufacturing facility. this is real food, some of it organic, and all of it healthy.


ask 10 people on diets why they are dieting and i bet none of them answer “because i want to be healthy”. so then why do people diet and why do people think i am on one? well they probably think i am on a diet because they don’t see me as a fit person. i am a big guy and i am over weight, i will be the first to admit that. no rippling abs here, not yet anyhow. is that really a reason to think i am on a diet? no, not really. so why do people diet anyhow? that’s an easyone , they want to lose weight and they want to get into those pants they bought 5 years ago that no longer fit. basically they want to look better. so whats wrong with that? absolutely nothing, except that most people diet, get into those pants, and then celebrate their progress by returning to their old self. they just stop cold, they don’t watch what they eat any more and they certainly don’t exercise. basically they reached their goal and don’t see beyond that. i know quite a few people like this, and to be frank it disappoints me. why does it disappoint me? look at them 6 months after they are off their diet and they are back to their old body weight. what happened? thats simple, they set no goals beyond those pants, and they never decided to eat “healthy”, they just were on a “diet”.


wait a minute, dieting is healthy right? if i were asked this question i would have to say no. most people don’t realize what their body needs to be healthy. vitamins and minerals are the building block of everything in our body. our body is made up of these nutrients and the only place it can get them from is the food we eat. yea yea, i know, you learned that in high school health class right. so did you really learn anything? if you had i bet you wouldn’t be feeding yourself what you are now. that coffee, pizza, hamburger, or even that diet cola you are drinking. that diet food you were eating, sure it said it was “fat free” right? did you read the label to see what was in it? how did they get rid of that fat? in one word, sugar. there’s no fat in sugar, just pure unadulterated carbohydrates. but wait, there are something like 5 high carbohydrate diets on the market today, so they have to be good for you right? wrong, carbohydrates have a great byproduct when eaten in abundance, it is called fat. that’s a nice vicious circle we created - fat, fat free, sugar, carbs, fat.


now i am getting really off track, sorry about that. another reason people think i am on a fad diet is that i don’t eat the things they are eating. as soon as someone sees that, they instantly say “diet”. it’s so ingrained it is sickening and really pisses me off. they think it feels good when they say that to me, and it does right? no, absolutely not! i have to many goals and have changed my life forever in to many ways to be on a diet. i don’t belong in that neat little category of the over weight and underfed trying to fit into those 5 year old pants only to fail once i have reached that one goal. i have dreams that i will achieve, i have goals, and when i reach those, i have goals after those. my changes are a lifestyle, not a diet.


so i told you what i eat and how much of it i eat. i don’t eat when i am not hungry and i don’t over eat. if i am full i stop eating, why stuff yourself, because you paid for it right? hehhe … yea, that’s the ticket. i balance each meal to make sure my body is running at optimal levels and i complement my healthy eating with an intense exercise program. is this different then what you are doing? if yes, then i must be on a diet right? well what are you on? you eat 3 meals a day, you eat foods that are high in carbohydrates and fat and low in nutritional value. then you wash them down with soda. yep, your on a diet all right, on a diet to make your body as out of shape as possible. don’t worry, i used to be on that one as well but i decided to make a change. which one sounds better to you? a lifestyle that gives you energy, helps you lose weight, keeps that weight off, and helps fight off disease and colds. or a diet that promotes sluggishness, short bursts of energy that leave you run down, you gain weight and keep putting more on, and you are sick a lot. i know which one i want, your choice is your own … just do me a favor, and don’t ask me how my “diet” is going.


but that’s just my opinion, for what its worth …


if you are interested in reading more about my lifestyle change you can check out what i have to say or you can get it from the horses mouth.

while i was home earlier this year i was driving to my friends house and off the road about 1000 feet or so i saw a large mall like building being constructed. being the nosy person that i am i drove up to the building and asked a worker what this place was going to be. “fitness center” he replied. fitness center? i don’t get it. this place was humongous, 2 stories tall, i am sure a few hundred thousand square feet at least … think super wallmart on steroids.


so why don’t i get it? when i think of fitness i think of a personal process of bettering my body. i think of trying to transform my body from an old version of myself to a new version. i think of health and family. what i don’t think of is a thousand people on stair climbers, treadmills, and lines to use a weight machine. i don’t think about cleaning a machine because the previous hundred people refused to use a towel. i don’t think about trying to find a parking space while driving around in circles. where’s the fitness and health in that? sounds like it will raise, not lower ones blood pressure.


this last time i was home, i headed out to my friends home again. this time as i got within a half a mile of this fitness megaplex the traffic began. the traffic was so bad around this place it took me 15 minutes to drive up to it so i could pass it. the traffic going the other way was worse, it was backed up over a mile just to pull into the parking lot which was overflowing into the recently renovated dirt field. i was flabbergasted, dumfounded, and shocked all at the same time. what were these people flocking to? was there an attraction to this mass fitness thing? was i missing the boat? i think the answer is simple …


so whats the answer? well as i see it people see summer coming, they have a few months before they have to fit into that bathing suit again. so they people run out and sign up for a gym membership. but wait, what do you know, there is a new gym in town. it’s bigger then anything they have seen before, as big as a mall. well bigger has to be better, the mall is a fun place so this has to be to. so they joined up and are now waiting in line at the ellipical trainer.


where did they go wrong? well the first thing is they think fitness is as seasonal as birds migrating south. they think that those few months in the gym are all they need to stay healthy when really they are just yo yo’ing their bodies and will gain weight not lose it. so lets stop and concider the lining up to get in this place. well, lets first consider that 70% of the united states is overweight. lets add to that the summer migration to the gym to look great. add to that a plush new gym to hang out in. finally mix in some good marketing by the company itself and you have all the requirements for a nice healthy cash flow. while this isn’t the answer for someone who wants to get “fit” it’s got to be the answer for the owners. with the cash they are pulling in they can just get plastic surgery. in fact they are opening one up a half mile from my house and i live 4 states away from the first one i saw in michigan. don’t tell me they aren’t loving it .. but i digress.


i can hear my friends now or maybe even someone reading this who doesn’t know me. they are talking about my holier then thou attitude and how i think i can just lay it out like that and get credit for an original thought. i never claimed that this idea of fitness was all mine, but for some reason i appear to be the only one who is venting about it this megaplex fitness thing. yes yes, now your hollering about how out of shape i am and i have no place. well my first rebuttal is to tell you to read my body section to see how that is changing daily. then i have to ask you, did you buy a membership at one of these places, or better yet, did you buy a swim suit last fall that was 5 sizes to small for you to wear? how much did you work out last summer? today? planning on doing anything to solve that in the next few months?


why do i care right? well remember this is my article so i can write about what i want .. heheh … my vent not yours. but really, it disturbs me that people are content with deteriorating over time, accepting that they are out of shape, and chalking it up as genetics. they just continue to spiral down to their couch with their clickers and chips in hand. come on, wake up. there is a world out there to explore. don’t you want to visit the amazon some day? what about diving in the great barrier reef? maybe run a marathon? ok, so maybe you don’t think that grand but what about playing ball with your kids without being tired? being able to walk up a flight of stairs without being winded?


what does this have to do with a fitness megaplex. i never claimed to think in straight paths, i’m a programmer not an author .. hehhe … give me a sec here. so does anyone get fit in these megaplex’s? well they are hoping you don’t. if you did you might not come back. they want you to come in during that migratory cycle and then leave after a few months. all the while, during the rest of the year you still pay the dues each month for that “life time” membership you signed up for. keeps the place empty, keeps them in jobs, and keeps a nice flow of cash on the books. so what do i suggest to solve this dilemma? well first you have to dig deep into yourself and ask a few personal questions. think about where you want to be in a few year … what shape is your body in? what about success in your job? your family? these are dreams and desires … we all have them. now you just need the energy to reach those dreams. what better way then through fitness? not the wait in line kind of fitness, i am talking about the fitness that has a personal touch. the fitness that makes you smile, makes you grow mentally as well as physically. the kind of fitness that gives you the energy from morning to night.


where do you find such a fitness program? well that answer for me was the body for life program. for you it might be finding a small local gym that offers a personal touch. it might be buying some weights for your home and finding a support group online. whatever it is, put some thought into it, some serious thought. this isn’t a migratory decision your making, this is a life decision. it will determine your health and happiness for the rest of your life. you owe it to yourself to break the cycle and build a few bridges to those dreams.


but that’s just my opinion, for what its worth …


the main catalyst to this article was the opening of these fitness megaplexs but there was also an underlying personal motive. i plan on opening a gym within a few years and i am attempting to design a fitness environment that is conducive to growth physically and mentally. a place where families can get healthy and happy. i would apologize for the rambling .. but that’s just me.

i have not posted this week. it has been pretty hectic at work and i have had a lot to do. so to start it out … had a good week. everything at work is great. i think i am going to finally finish up a project i have been working on forever. i will finally get to work on something cool again. the workouts went great this week. i am back to working out in the morning. i had to set my goal and i made it … gotta love it when a plan comes together.


i am getting progressively stronger. i was looking back in my first workout sheets to see where i started and i was elated to see the progress that i have made. i feel great and have lost quite a bit of weight. right now i am going to try and tweak things a bit. i am going to stop taking my chromium picolinate since i have plenty of chromium in the multivitamin and the myoplex. i am also going to give cytovol a try. it promotes volumize of muscle cells, supports new muscle growth, and preserve glutamine. i have also have quite a few people tell me to give it a try. so what the hey, it can’t hurt any.


i had my taxes done … i was pretty damn mad. turns out uncle sam has his hand out for a bit more cash … a bit over a grand that is. there goes the money i had saved to far. i am going to have to adjust my claims from 1 to 0 so they take more out this year. i am also starting to look for a condo … i need to have something i can write off the interest on. i need some tax shelters damn it. so a condo it is … i am going to look in schaumburg and the surrounding area first and then go from there if i don’t find something. i was talking to the tax agent and she said i could get approved for around $180,000 which seems a bit high. i think i am going to start looking around 140 - 150. that is a bit more realistic when it comes to what i am going to have to pay.


i had a little incident this past week with the cyberdiet message board. i was going to write a vent on it, but honestly it’s not worth it. the people on there are pretty set in their ways. i need to surround myself with positive ideas and people, not negative ones. so in that light i will save my vents for more constructive things then just to go off on people like them.


i received some good comments this last week on people enjoying my site. they are surprised that i am so open with myself but enjoy reading it. others are asking for more … heheh … only so much of me to go around. being true to myself i would rather spend time improving myself physically and mentally then write more stuff on here that a lot of people won’t read. i do enjoy writing what i do though, and i will continue to add a lot of stuff. just not the depth that some people were asking for.


i spent a lot more time this week thinking about the gym. i am going to buy some books this next week on how to start a small business. i need to figure out how to start this company in the next few years. i want to get out of this industry and into something a bit more realistic where i can see myself in the future. when i look into the future now i just sigh at the hours i am going to have to work to make it or to more up the ladder. i see people at my old job and my current job working insane hours and they have families. i can’t see myself doing that … honestly … i would prioritize things differently. yes, i can do it now when i am young and single … but in 5 or 10 years? that has to be an honest no.


had the first meeting of the chicago body for life chapter. it was pretty cool getting to meet the people who i have chatted with online. everyone had great energy and they all sounded like they loved the program and were doing well on it. it was a bit loud where we were, and i know we had a hard time shouting across the table but it was still a great time. maybe we can get together once a month or something like that. share with each other the progress we are making and help each other with everything. i am looking forward to seeing them all again …


i made another attempt this week at meeting someone. kind of a ritual that i do every so often. i check out the online classified and send messages to women in the area telling them about myself. we shall see how it goes. never have met anyone via a classified that went anywhere worth while though but there is a first time for anything. i think i will start a test … as i respond to more over time, and as i physically change from being overweight to being in shape, lets see if the number of responses changes proportionately as well. my guess is it does … call my cynical.


that’s about it for now …