revelation or realization
personal, inspirational February 1st, 2006
it’s been a while since i last posted. i’m not really sure why i stopped posting honestly. i guess i just lost my blogging voice.
i’ve went through a number of different things in my life since my last post. i have a new nephew who is cute as a button (parker), my wife graduated with her masters degree as a physician assistant and started a job (congrats love), my father retired, my niece had her second birthday, my wife and i started working out again, i worked over 3,200 hours last year (do the math, it equals nothing but pain), read a few good books, took golf back up seriously, drank more wine, and through this all i’ve had a revelation … no, actually it’s nothing divine at all so that isn’t really the right word. let’s aim a little lower … a “realization” is more appropriate.
i kind of blame it all on my new boss (yea got one of those while i was gone). i know i don’t really post about work for concerns of losing my job, but this isn’t really anything to get fired over … i think. it all started with a signature i used to have at the end of my emails that some of you may recognize:
“i am rarely happier than when spending an entire day programming my computer to perform automatically a task that it would otherwise take me a good ten seconds to do by hand.” — douglas adams
at that point in time i felt that it succinctly summed up my view on my position. that apparently wasn’t the message that we wanted to be sending out to our clients any longer, given certain internal changes. it got me to thinking about why i really chose it in the first place. i’ve been using it for about a year or so. during that time i’ve taken on a new role within the team i was once a member of, i became the manager. scary, i know … it wasn’t a role that was really offered to me, more like dropped on me. the first few months were really rough. if i were to describe it in one word i’d go with “rebellion”.
the longer i was in the role the more complacent i became. not on purpose … i guess i never thought of myself as a manager. i know i have a lot of rough edges, but i always call the shots as i see them. i never respected people that sugar coated things or over-promised while consistently never delivering. i’d rather tell a client i couldn’t do something or that they were wrong before i’d lie to their face. historically this has caused me pain but at times it has helped me to gain respect. in my new role i had some good progressive conversations people liked, and a few really really bad days, well maybe more than a few.
so here i am trying to figure out what to change my signature to while at the same time not really sure i’m comfortable in my new shoes. with this new manager came a lot of changes … i know what your thinking (painful). honestly, i have to admit that they weren’t really that bad (except for using excel and project). they made 100% sense and instead of making up dates and deliverables we actually made project plans and tried to get scope documentation (imagine that). we talked to our clients and have started asking them what they “really” want and actually got them all talking to each other. essentially we started putting the client and the happiness of our people first. things that anyone would love to see happen at any company but often times don’t.
so i started to think about what i really wanted out of my career. i started reading some blogs of people that i respected like gus, wil, joel, and steve (none of which know me but i know through their writings). then i started reading my own blog. after digging back through my past i read one of my revolving quotes:
“the people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can’t find them, make them.” — george bernard shaw
and a light went on, i had that “realization” i mentioned earlier. here i was, sitting in a new job waiting for life to deal me my hand when i should in fact be the dealer. if i wanted to change, then “i” had to change my circumstances … that or make them.
gone is the complacency and indecisiveness. i know what i want and i’m making it happen.
i’ve went through a number of different things in my life since my last post. i have a new nephew who is cute as a button (parker), my wife graduated with her masters degree as a physician assistant and started a job (congrats love), my father retired, my niece had her second birthday, my wife and i started working out again, i worked over 3,200 hours last year (do the math, it equals nothing but pain), read a few good books, took golf back up seriously, drank more wine, and through this all i’ve had a revelation … no, actually it’s nothing divine at all so that isn’t really the right word. let’s aim a little lower … a “realization” is more appropriate.
i kind of blame it all on my new boss (yea got one of those while i was gone). i know i don’t really post about work for concerns of losing my job, but this isn’t really anything to get fired over … i think. it all started with a signature i used to have at the end of my emails that some of you may recognize:
“i am rarely happier than when spending an entire day programming my computer to perform automatically a task that it would otherwise take me a good ten seconds to do by hand.” — douglas adams
at that point in time i felt that it succinctly summed up my view on my position. that apparently wasn’t the message that we wanted to be sending out to our clients any longer, given certain internal changes. it got me to thinking about why i really chose it in the first place. i’ve been using it for about a year or so. during that time i’ve taken on a new role within the team i was once a member of, i became the manager. scary, i know … it wasn’t a role that was really offered to me, more like dropped on me. the first few months were really rough. if i were to describe it in one word i’d go with “rebellion”.
the longer i was in the role the more complacent i became. not on purpose … i guess i never thought of myself as a manager. i know i have a lot of rough edges, but i always call the shots as i see them. i never respected people that sugar coated things or over-promised while consistently never delivering. i’d rather tell a client i couldn’t do something or that they were wrong before i’d lie to their face. historically this has caused me pain but at times it has helped me to gain respect. in my new role i had some good progressive conversations people liked, and a few really really bad days, well maybe more than a few.
so here i am trying to figure out what to change my signature to while at the same time not really sure i’m comfortable in my new shoes. with this new manager came a lot of changes … i know what your thinking (painful). honestly, i have to admit that they weren’t really that bad (except for using excel and project). they made 100% sense and instead of making up dates and deliverables we actually made project plans and tried to get scope documentation (imagine that). we talked to our clients and have started asking them what they “really” want and actually got them all talking to each other. essentially we started putting the client and the happiness of our people first. things that anyone would love to see happen at any company but often times don’t.
so i started to think about what i really wanted out of my career. i started reading some blogs of people that i respected like gus, wil, joel, and steve (none of which know me but i know through their writings). then i started reading my own blog. after digging back through my past i read one of my revolving quotes:
“the people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can’t find them, make them.” — george bernard shaw
and a light went on, i had that “realization” i mentioned earlier. here i was, sitting in a new job waiting for life to deal me my hand when i should in fact be the dealer. if i wanted to change, then “i” had to change my circumstances … that or make them.
gone is the complacency and indecisiveness. i know what i want and i’m making it happen.
- i’m working out and improving my health. (5 weeks strong now).
- i’m engaging all of my clients, improving our process, making my team happier, and at the same time breaking down historical barriers to progress.
- i’m leaving work on time.
- i’m stimulating my mind.
- i’m smiling a lot more.
February 3rd, 2006 at 7:53 am great post, good to see you’ve come back.